


Feeling So Small

by Selenai



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M, Oneshot, Sex swap, Vancouver Canucks, all the feelings, curses of (in)convenience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-25
Updated: 2013-11-25
Packaged: 2018-01-02 15:56:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1058725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Selenai/pseuds/Selenai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the fight between Burr and Kessel on 11/2, Alex wakes up with an unexpected retaliatory side effect that he's desperate to get rid of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feeling So Small

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this half written in a Word doc for a month now (just the smut part, mind you), and just decided to take a little break from my other fic to just finish it up. I think it reads all right, especially considering that I wrote it completely backwards for no reason known to man.
> 
> I have to thank my entire plurk list for listening to me rant about this fic the whole time I was fixing it up, because I've never written sex swap before, and I was conflicted over a few of the things that I wrote, but I'm pretty decently happy with how it came out! I really just wanted to write Canucks fic and I wanted to write sex swap, and this is what happened.

The game against Toronto is a great game for the whole team. Alex feels great afterwards, even if Kessel is giving him something of the hairy eyeball after their skirmish in the first period. Alex isn’t sure if he should be feeling the sense of something being just a little bit off after they’re being escorted to the penalty boxes (and he’s pretty sure he won that fight, actually, good for him), or even after the game after his team has won a great 4-0 game. Something just feels a little off. He doesn’t want it to be, he wants to bask in the winning celebration and in the fact that they are finally going through a nice bit of a winning stretch out of October, but something just feels a little wrong. Maybe he tweaked something during the game.

He showers quickly and avoids the media before heading home. They have a big road trip coming up that they’re leaving for in the morning and he needs to be ready. Especially since it means he’s going to have a lot of time on his hands trying to ignore the warm, obnoxious feelings he gets in the pit of his stomach the longer he’s around Ryan, and now there’s no Max and no Mason to help keep him distracted from the other man. No excuses not to spend as much time as possible around him. Not without seeming weirdly suspicious, anyways.

Mostly he just sticks to Lu’s side, trying to ignore the urge to glance up and see what Ryan’s doing and who he’s spending his time with (usually it’s Kevin, but sometimes he goes and hangs out a little with the new kids, just like how now that Eddie’s on the team a lot of his time with Lu includes the backup—it’s not so bad, even if once you get the two of them together things tend to get exponentially weirder.).

His fears are proven valid, though, the next morning when Alex wakes up and finds himself… well, not really himself. He feels a little off balance on his way to the washroom, blinking a little blearily and wiping the sleep from his eyes. The first thing he does is turn to the mirror to see if maybe he might have missed a bruise or something from the game the night before, because the last thing he needs is an injury to keep him off the roster after he’s just come back from his foot injury.

What he sees, though, is worse than that. What he sees is a face that looks like him, but not like the him that he is really expecting to see. Instead he sees a face that’s smooth and soft around the edges staring back at him. His sleep shirt is a little tight around small breasts, and now that he’s actively thinking about it, he realizes how uncomfortable the shirt is. He doesn’t like it at all.

Alex doesn’t have to look down his shorts to know that he’s probably not going to find his cock there, but he reaches down, anyways, and groans a bit. Of course. 

How can this have happened to him?

Unless—of course. Kessel had yelled something about getting even with him at the end of their fight last night. He knew that he’d been a bit of an agitator on that shift (okay, on every shift—but it is his _job_ ), but isn’t this going a little far?

Is it really possible that Kessel is the kind of guy with the power to actually turn Alex from a dude into a chick?

He doesn’t really want to believe it, but when he has one hand full of a breast and the other hand where his dick should be--- well, that seems like it’s answer enough.

Alex isn’t sure what he should do in this situation except that he knows that if he doesn’t hurry up and get dressed and grab his suitcase, he’s going to be late getting to the airport and Torts is going to have his head on the chopping block. More than he’s pretty sure it’s already going to be on there when he shows up like _this_.

He shoves his legs into his tightest pair of dress pants, using a belt to hold them on as best as possible, and buttons up a dress shirt. It all hangs loose and baggy on him, but there’s nothing he can do about that. Actually, he’s kind of grateful for it, because he rather thinks that he looks like the most awkward woman who ever lived. His hair is still pretty short and barely frames his face, and everything about him seems lanky and out of proportion. His hips are still narrow and he’s pretty sure that he has less of an ass as a chick than he’d had as a guy. That hardly seems fair. Whatever whammy Kessel has put on him is a mean one.

He hopes that not too many people will see him like this. He wishes that they had more days off, because _Ryan_ is going to see him like this, and that’s a little mortifying. 

Regardless, this is his job and he’s not looking for any excuse to put that in danger, and so he makes his way to the airport, shrinking down in the seat of his car as he drives. The whole weight of his body feels off, and he knows that the team will never let him play like this. He just hopes that maybe one of them will know how to break whatever whammy this is. 

He knows that it’s not entirely unheard of for players to have curses cast on them by other players from other teams, but he’s never met someone that it’s happened to, and it sure as hell has never happened to him before. He’s heard of guys waking up having switched bodies or sometimes younger than they were when they went to sleep, or sometimes able to do things that they couldn’t do when they went to sleep—but never anything like this. Kessel really is a slippery bastard (and maybe something of a genius, but Alex isn’t feeling particularly generous).

By the time he gets to the airport, he’s worked himself up so much that he’s nearly hyperventilating in his car. He can see some of the guys already climbing up the steps to board the plane, though, and he hurries out of his car, lugging his small suitcase with him. It’s all routine from there, and he hurries to catch up.

Lu sees him first, and raises a brow at him.

“What happened to you?”

He sighs a little. “Really? Can’t you tell? Or are you really blind?” His voice comes out a little higher and he realizes that it’s actually the first time he’s used it since the whole change. He’s not impressed by it, but the other man’s lips are quirking a little as he puts his hands up in a bit of a defensive motion.

“Woah, defensive much? I’m going to go out on a limb and guess Kessel? Unless you pissed someone else off last night?”

Alex just shrugs and nods a little. “I guess so. Who else, right?”

Lu grins a little and helps him as they make their way past a few of their other teammates, all of whom give him strange looks as they pass, and Ryan who even stops in his tracks to stare a minute before turning back to finish whatever he is saying to Kevin.

“I’d say there are plenty of people you’ve pissed off to the point where they’d love to lay the whammy on you, Burr, I’m just guessing that by the timing of it, Kessel is the most likely candidate.”

Alex rolls his eyes and crosses his arms a little awkwardly over his chest, resisting the urge to glance back over his shoulder to meet Ryan’s gaze. He really doesn’t want to hear Ryan of all people laughing at him right now.

They make their way over to where Torts is standing by his seat, organizing paperwork and setting up his entire area for the flight.

“Coach? We have a problem.”

Torts turns towards them and rolls his eyes when he sees Alex, clearly exasperated, but a lot less confused than Alex had been when he’d seen himself this morning.

“Shit.”

That seems like the biggest understatement that Alex has heard so far, but he’s willing to go with it, and he tugs at the collar of his shirt a little uncomfortably.

“Figure this out, Burr. We need you in the lineup on Tuesday. You want us to report him to Bettman?”

Ales isn’t sure how he’s supposed to figure it out, but he just shakes his head slowly.

“No, I—uh, it’s okay. He’s just embarrassed that he lost the fight to me, I’m sure.”

Torts just shrugs a little and moves to glance back down at the stack of papers he’s holding. 

“You gonna be okay to figure this one out? I’m sure your teammates will be able to help you. I haven’t dealt with this kind of problem for years, so I’m out. I’m sure they’ll be much more helpful than I would be, anyways.”

Alex just nods, a little numb. He isn’t sure what he was expecting, but he feels a little hope drain out of him.

Lu leads him back down towards their usual seats, patting him on his shoulder consolingly.

“Don’t worry, Burr, we’ll figure it out. You won’t be trapped like this forever. I’m sure someone knows how to get rid of it. There are a lot of guys on this plane, I’m sure _someone_ knows something.”

Alex nods, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. He feels exposed like this, way too vulnerable, and kind of just wishes that he could hide somewhere a lot safer. But where in the world would he be safer than with his teammates?

“Thanks, Lu. I’m just going to try to sleep it off or something. Until we get to Phoenix, at least.”

Lu nods and Alex digs in his pocket for his iPod, he really just wants to tune out the whole world right now.

He peeks open one eye when he feels the seat in front of him shift and sees the blurry outline of Ryan shifting into his seat, glancing behind him as if to make sure that Alex is still there. Alex wonders what Ryan is thinking about this whole situation, if he thinks it’s hilarious the way he thinks most things are hilarious. Or maybe he’s taking it seriously—it is serious in its own way. Or it will be if it keeps him out of the lineup for any period of time and they have to make up stories for the press about why he’s not playing with them.

He stays like that for the whole flight, just kind of hoping that maybe the whole curse is just meant to humiliate him a little and then it will wear off, but it’s a no-go for that. By the time they’re landing in Phoenix, he’s still very much in a woman’s body, and he hates it. Some of his teammates are still giving him the odd look, and he feels itchy under his skin. He wishes he could just rip the skin off and go back to being regular old Alex.

Lu comes up to him as they’re preparing to get off the plane, and grins a little. “I’ve got a bit of a solution for you.”

Alex blinks a little, and leans a little closer, because for some reason, Lu is talking really quietly. Which probably means that the solution is going to be something really weird or else something that he’s not going to want to do. Though he’s getting pretty desperate at this point. He’s pretty sure he’d do just about anything.

“Yeah? What is it? Who told you? Are you sure it’s, uh, a reliable source?”

He hates to think of someone pranking him at a moment like this, but it is always a possibility.

“It’s a reliable source. Richie said something like this happened when he was playing in LA, and the guys just had to admit their biggest, baddest, secret and the problem resolved itself.”

Alex stares at Lu, swallowing hard. That doesn’t sound so bad. Or, well, it wouldn’t sound so bad if his biggest, baddest secret didn’t have to do with having a very specific kind of feelings for one of the guys that he plays with. It could completely wreck their team dynamic, not to mention their friendship.

“I—Lu, you know I can’t do that.”

Lu just shrugs a little, and sighs. “You want to play, don’t you? You know you can’t play like that for sure. There’s no way coach lets you in when you look like that. People have cats that weight more than you do.”

Alex thinks that’s a bit of an exaggeration, but whatever. He can probably still play, if they’d let him. But he knows they won’t. It would be too obvious, and everyone would know right away. They’d be too worried that he could get hurt.

“Just tell him. What’s the worst that can happen?”

Alex glances away. There are so many bad things that can happen, and most of them have already occurred to him plenty of times before.

“I guess.”

“It’s the only solution anyone could think of. There’s no running its course that anyone knew of.”

Alex sighs, running his fingers through his hair. “I’ll think about it.”

He does think about it. It’s all he can think about on the bus ride to the hotel and as they’re all picking up their room keys. It’s all he thinks about at dinner and when everyone is making noise about going out for a few rounds of drinks after dinner. They wouldn’t get recognized in Phoenix, and they just have practice the next day.

“I think I’m going to stay behind. Just watch a movie and go to bed. Maybe try to figure out how to stop being… this.”

The rest of the guys nod, seeming to understand where he’s coming from. They seem to be just as eager to have him in the lineup as he is to be in it, so he’s glad when nobody seems to put up too much of an argument over how he should go to the bar with them. Besides, how awkward would that be? He just wouldn’t fit in there at all, not as a girl, anyways. He barely did as a guy. The bar scene just hasn’t ever been his thing.

“I’ll stick back with him. Don’t worry,” Kes speaks up when Lu begins making a little bit of noise about worrying about leaving him alone. “He won’t get too lonely if he’s got company like me.”

The guys laugh at that, and by the time they leave, Alex is feeling even more anxious than before. Lu is mouthing ‘Tell Him’ at him, and Alex just makes a face at him in return. Way to be obvious, Lu. In retrospect, getting drunk and telling Lu about his feelings for Ryan the day after Max had left hadn’t been his most shining moment.

They’re sitting in his room with the movie on by the time it really starts to set in that he’s alone with Ryan and he’s pretty much out of options. What else is he supposed to do? Just live like this? Just try to wait it out even if there’s a chance that there isn’t really a waiting this thing out? What is he supposed to do?

He’s not even paying attention to the comedy that they’re watching, one that he knows that Ryan put on especially for him, because he’s too caught up in everything going on in his own head. They’re pressed tightly together on the king sized bed, all the way from shoulder to thigh. It’s something he usually would be taking a lot of pleasure in, but tonight he’s just too worked up. He’s even jiggling his leg nervously on the bed, making the whole thing shake a little for a few minutes before Ryan reaches one big hand (and has it always been so big, or is he really just that much smaller all of a sudden?), forcing the movement to stop and turning his head towards him with a slight frown.

 

“Dude, what’s going on with you? You’ve been practically vibrating in place since we started the movie, you haven’t laughed at any of the hilarious parts, and you usually would have interrupted the movie about a thousand times by now to ask me where the plot is going. Are you sick? Is it the chick thing? It’s okay if it’s the chick thing. I won’t tell.”

Alex flushes, looking away from Ryan for a second before looking back at him. It’s a now or never moment. Like when he gets a beautiful pass from one of the twins and the only real option is to shoot as soon as the weight of the puck is on his stick or the opportunity is completely lost. This is really, probably going to be the only opportunity that he gets like this.

“I, uh, that is, Lu told me that they say the only way to get rid of this whole thing is for the person who is cursed to tell their biggest secret. It’s a punishment—Kessel is punishing me for fighting him by making me tell my biggest secret.”

He is pretty sure that Kessel is actually the biggest asshole in the world right now, easily.

“You just have to tell me your biggest secret? That shouldn’t be that hard, should it? I mean, it’s not like we have a whole lot of secrets from each other to begin with. We spend a lot of time together, anyways. C’mon, Burr, I won’t tell your secret, you don’t have to be afraid. I promise not to make fun of whatever your secret is. I also promise to hit the asshole nice and hard for you the next time we play the Leafs.”

Alex’s lips quirk a little at the sentiment, but he can’t meet Ryan’s gaze because he’s too busy staring at the television without ever really seeing it. This is really that now or never minute. If he keeps putting it off, everyone else is going to come back and it’s going to be too late.

“Okay—but just promise that, uh, that no matter what it is, you won’t think that I’m, like, that you won’t stop being my friend, okay? I wouldn’t be doing this if, uh, if there was any other way.”

Ryan just nods at him, his expression open and serious in a way that it hardly ever is outside of the game, as he turns his whole body to face Alex’s. He looks like he’s ready to accept whatever Alex is going to say to him, and Alex wonders if he could get off with admitting to a slightly less revealing secret, but Lu had said that it had to be his biggest secret.

“Just tell me, Burr. I promise I’m not going to stop being your friend over some stupid secret.”

Alex’s cheeks are burning a little, because he wants to argue that his secret isn’t really _stupid_ , but for all he knows, Ryan might actually think that it is. So he doesn’t think that he should argue anything right that minute.

“Okay, uh, I guess I’ll just come out and say it—“ Now was definitely that moment. Now was the last moment. “I’m kind of gay. A least half way.”

Ryan’s expression doesn’t really change; he just raises a brow at Alex like he’s expecting him to continue. 

“Okay… that’s your big secret? You’re bisexual? I’m sorry to tell you, Burr, It’s not much of a secret. Are you sure that’s going to be enough to break the curse?”

The burning of his cheeks is getting a little more intense, and Alex stares down at his hands, noting how much smaller they are than he is used to seeing from this angle. His fingers are more slender and they’re not as long. They wouldn’t look right at all wrapped around his hockey stick. He wonders what they’d look like tangled with Ryan’s, though. 

“No—No, I guess that’s not really my secret. I just thought that was important to know.”

Ryan’s eyes widen and then narrow a little as he glances away for a second and Alex is sure that his heart stops beating for that brief period of time. Has Ryan figured out his secret on his own? Would that stop the curse from breaking?

“Are you going to tell me you’ve fallen for Lu? I know you’ve been spending a lot more time with him ever since Max left, and I thought at first it might have been a French thing, but now… I mean, I guess it’s all right if that’s the case, I’ll support you and everything, but come on, it’s Lu. You can probably do a lot better than that.”

Judging by the look on Ryan’s face, it’s not really all right at all. He looks like someone stole all his sticks and hid them somewhere that he couldn’t find them. Alex bit his bottom lip a little and shakes his head. He hopes he’s doing the right thing in telling him. He hopes that he’s reading this situation right. If Ryan has a problem with him potentially being with Lu then maybe—

“It’s not Lu. I fell for someone, but it’s not Lu, I promise.”

Ryan’s gaze snaps back to him and they’re just looking at each other in silence for a moment, and Alex really wishes that he was in his own body so that the height difference didn’t make him feel quite so vulnerable. The other man shifts a little on the bed and suddenly they’re pressed a little closer together and he can see that he’s clearly not the only one who’s feeling a little vulnerable. Ryan’s eyes are a little wider and Alex licks his lips a little nervously.

“Who is it?”

There’s another pause and Alex is fidgeting with the too-baggy shirt that he’d put on that morning, ignoring the way his heart is racing. Ryan reaches out and grabs his hand to stop the fidgeting. 

“Who is it, Alex?”

Alex licks his lips again and finally looks back up to meet Ryan’s gaze.

“I’m, uh, I’m pretty sure you figured it out already. You’re the smart one, aren’t you?”

Ryan shakes his head and narrows his eyes, squeezing Alex’s hand a little tighter. 

“I need to hear it.”

If Alex’s heart wasn’t racing before, it is now, because that’s probably the best thing he’s ever heard. There’s a pretty good chance that this whole thing is going to end up a whole lot better than he’d ever expected. 

“The, uhm, the one that I fell for is you, Kes.”

Ryan doesn’t waste any time closing the distance between them and closing his mouth over Alex’s, and it feels weird to be kissing someone with these lips that aren’t really his. It feels good, of course it does, because this is Ryan and he’s kissing him, but more than that, he feels like his whole body is warming up a lot faster than he’d expected it to.

But there’s still something on his mind that he needs to clear up before he lets this whole thing go any further.

“Wait, wait, Ryan—wait, I, uh, I just need to know—“

Ryan pulls back, staring back at him with eyes that are half lidded and pupils that are a little blown. It makes a shiver run its way through Alex in an entirely pleasant way. He’d thought of this a hundred times, but he’d never thought of it in this kind of a circumstance before.

“I just need to know. This isn’t— I mean, it’s not because I’m like… a girl, is it?”

Ryan stares at him blankly for a second before letting out a bark of laughter and shaking his head, hand sliding its way up his side, and Alex has to lean into the touch because it just feels so warm and good and everything that he’d thought it would feel like.

“Of course not,” Ryan finally manages to get out. “You really haven’t noticed me watching you?”

Alex blinks up at the other man, and shakes his head, his own eyes wide, even as Ryan’s fingers are sliding just under the hem of the baggy shirt, brushing against the too-warm skin under it. He jumps a little at the contact before reaching out to almost tentatively run his own hands down Ryan’s chest, enjoying the hardness of it. He’d always wondered if it would feel as firm as it had looked. He wastes no time in sliding his own hand under his shirt.

“I thought I was pretty obvious about it, Burr, but I was pretty sure you had a thing for Max, you spent so much of your time with him. Or with Mase, before he left.”

Alex makes a bit of a face, shaking his head as he leaned in to brush his lips against the curve of Ryan’s jaw. The other man tilted his head back, letting Alex get at his neck a little more. Alex enjoyed the feel of rough stubble against his smooth lips and cheeks and nuzzled at it a little before pulling back to brush their lips together.

“Only ever had eyes for you. Max knew. Teased me about it for a long time. He, uh, thought I should have told you.”

That made Ryan smile a little, and he nodded, kissing Alex on the lips again, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, his hand coming up to brush against the soft curve of his breast under his shirt, making him gasp into the kiss. 

“Is this going to be weird?” Ryan asks against his lips, nipping at them lightly.

Alex shrugs a little, because obviously there’s going to be a little bit of weirdness if they’re going to be having sex in a body that’s not really his own, but he doesn’t really want to wait any longer. Not when he has Ryan pushing him back onto the bed and leaning over him like this. His whole body is hot and humming with anticipation. The idea of waiting—and when would they even get another chance like this, anyways? They’re going to be surrounded by their teammates for the rest of the road trip—is incredibly unappealing. 

“I can deal with it if you can.”

The grin on Ryan’s face makes it pretty clear that he thinks he can deal with it, and Alex shivers again, shifting back against the bed to lie back in a more comfortable position. 

“Should I take off this shirt?”

Ryan raises a brow and leans back a little to give him some room.

“Absolutely. Take off those horrible dress pants while you’re at it, too, I don’t even want to think about trying to figure out that belt in the middle of trying to fuck you.”

He’s sure he flushes from top to bottom at the idea of Ryan fucking into him, and reaches down to the hem of the shirt, tugging it up and over his head, tossing it onto the floor and reaching down to fumble with the belt holding the way too big pants on. He’s a little distracted, though, because Ryan is doing the exact same thing, and even though he’s seen him naked more times than he can count in the locker room, it’s totally different when he’s allowed to actually _look_ at him. It’s also totally different when his cock is resting a little hard against his thigh (and is that really because of Alex? Even in this body and when he looks like this?), and Alex’s mouth is suddenly very dry as his hands freeze where they have been working on the suddenly difficult belt.

“Burr—Alex. Belt. Get it off.”

Alex blinks a little and nods, finally tugging it free and letting the pants slide down his still-narrow hips, leaving him dressed only in his loose fitting boxer shorts now, spread out on the bed for Ryan.

“Fuck, you look… you look really fucking good right now.”

Alex flushes darkly and out of an instinct that he doesn’t even really understand moves his arms up to cover his chest. Ryan reaches out and grabs his hands, tugging them back down.

“I know you’ll look even better once we get you back to your normal self, too.”

He nods at that, feeling a flush work its way down his body from his face to his chest, letting his hands rest at his sides as Ryan lowers his head and presses his face into the curve of Alex’s neck, breathing him in as he slides his lips against the skin there, dragging his lips lower and leaving what Alex is sure is going to be a brutal beard burn. He likes it. He doesn’t know how they’re going to hide it from the team, but they’re all probably going to be suspicious about how he managed to get rid of the girl thing, if this whole experiment works, anyways.

“Ryan…” He murmurs, arching his back a little as the other man’s lips slide lower, and he’s sliding his lips down over the small curve of one of his breasts, pressing small kisses over it slowly, brushing his cheek against the sensitive skin and coaxing a small gasp out of Alex as he slid his tongue over a hard nipple. 

He’s always liked having attention paid to his nipples, even when they weren’t quite as sensitive as they are right now, but the added sensitivity is amazing, and it’s making him reach down to thread his fingers through Ryan’s hair, urging him on.

Though it turns out that Ryan Kesler doesn’t need much urging on. He has one hand moving to slide against the other breast, thumb and index finger pinching lightly at his other nipple and having him arching his hips up a little.

It is a little bit of a different feeling, the warmth pooling in his abdomen now. He is used to the feeling tangling into a mass of feeling that leaves him hard and aching, but this is like he’s been heated to the core and it’s going to flow right out of him if he isn’t careful.

Ryan seems to know exactly what to do, though, because he’s sliding his free hand into the boxer shorts and letting his fingers tease lightly at the wet lips of Alex’s pussy. The touch is light and now quite enough, and Alex is shifting his hips a little to try and get more of it, spreading his legs a little wider and whining a little in the back of his throat until Ryan’s fingers slide a little and his thumb brushes up against his clit softly, but enough to have a gasp escaping him.

“That—Ryan—“

He glances down at Ryan where his tongue is sliding against the tip of his nipple, his lips curved into a wide grin.

“I know. My hands are like magic no matter _what_ I’m doing.”

Alex tries to roll his eyes, but it’s hard to do, because Ryan’s slipping a ringer inside of him and moving his thumb over his clit in slow (almost too slow, fuck) motions. He’s wet and he has no idea how he got so wet, but it feels amazing. There’s a little bit of a stretch that comes with having Ryan’s finger in him, but it feels good, too, and he just pushes his hips into the feeling of it. He wants more of it, and so he tells the other man.

“I can, you know, take more than just this.”

Ryan lifts his head, and when he shifts, Alex can feel the hardness of his cock pressed against his thigh. It makes another rush of warmth move through him to know that Ryan is getting off just on touching him like this. It makes him feel a sense of power, and it makes him feel attractive, even in this body that he’d thought just this morning had looked so awkward on him.

“I know you can take more, I’m just taking my time. Calm down.”

Alex huffs a little, and rotates his hips in a bit of a circle, trying to get more of that sensation.

“Well don’t _stop_.”

Ryan rolls his eyes at him, but moves his hand so that he’s circling his thumb against his clit a little more quickly, and he stops up for just a second to press a second finger inside of him with a sort of practiced ease.

Alex groans at that. The stretch is good. It feels more like the kind of stretch he’s used to, and he spreads his legs a little wider.

“You should take these boxers off now, Alex,” Ryan is saying, and his voice is a little deeper than it had been before, and Alex is licking his lips, reaching down with hands that are shaking. He thinks it would just be a lot easier if the other man took them off for him.

“Yeah, okay.”

Ryan pulls back, and Alex immediately misses the way his hands and mouth had felt on his body. 

It does end up taking the both of them to get his boxers off, but he’s breathing a little calmer by the time he’s lying spread completely bare and open under Ryan. Ryan whose eyes are roaming his body hungrily. He definitely doesn’t feel like the awkward person he’d woken up as this morning.

“I’m going to make you come, Alex, and then I’m going to fuck you.”

Alex flushes, swallowing hard and letting his legs fall open. He wanted that. He wanted all of that.

“Yeah, okay.”

Ryan grins down at him, looking perfectly confident in his abilities, and Alex really isn’t in any position to argue with what he’s capable of. If Ryan is confident in his ability to do something—well, he never gives up until he succeeds. That’s just the way he is.

Alex knows he won’t be disappointed.

He’s not. Ryan’s fingers return to what they’d been doing before, two fingers sliding back inside of him, and his thumb carefully resuming its slow movements against his clit. Alex feels hot all over, and his toes curl a little.

“It’s good.”

Ryan grins. “Magic fingers.”

Alex turns his face to the side, hiding his own matching grin in the pillow as he pushes his hips into the touch. 

He’s a little surprised when Ryan shifts over him and lowers his head so that he can kiss him hard on the mouth, sucking his tongue lightly into his mouth at the same slow rhythm that his fingers are pushing into his pussy. HE can imagine briefly what it will be like when Ryan will have his mouth wrapped around his cock when he’s back in his own body, and that sends another jolt of heat through him.

The sensations all work together to send a shiver of pleasure through his entire body, tangling at his core, making him groan out a little louder. It is amazing, he’s never felt anything like it, and he’s not sure he ever will again. He wants to take in every moment of it, just in case.

“Ryan—just a little bit more…”

Ryan nods, his eyes focused intently down on where his fingers are sliding in and out of Alex with no resistance, his thumb circling his clit with just a little more pressure and a little more quickly as he moved his hand. He’s so close, he can feel it building, and he arches his hips, letting out a sharp cry as his whole body tightens around the feel of those fingers inside of him, and he folds in on himself a little, shaking as he reaches out for the other man.

“Ryan, Ryan, Ryan.”

Ryan looks up from where he’s carefully pulling his hand away from him, his eyes blown wide and his own cheeks flushed dark, licking his lips.

“I need to—“

“Yeah, come on, fuck me. I need you to.”

And he does. He feels empty without those fingers inside of him, and he wants to feel more. More of Ryan. More of what’s happening between the two of them right now.

Ryan seems to get it, because he’s sliding up Alex’s body, letting Alex’s hips bracket his as he reaches down to grip his cock, stroking it slowly once as he stares down at him.

“You’re…” he just shakes his head and grins before ducking his head to kiss him slowly just a slide of their lips together. It’s a soft kiss, one that has Alex aching for more.

Slowly, almost too slowly, Ryan is pushing inside of him, and Alex is tilting his hips up to allow for easier access, his mouth hanging open a little as they move together to get Ryan situated all of the way inside of him.

He’s never had someone inside of him without a condom before, and he thinks for a second that they both probably should have thought about that, but this whole thing is because of magic—what’s the worst that could happen because of it? He trusts Ryan more than he’s ever trusted another person in his entire life.

“You’re perfect,” Ryan finally breathes against his lips, and Alex closes his eyes just basking in the feel of it all. It’s almost all too good to be real. He hopes if it’s a dream that he doesn’t wake up.

They move like that together for a few seconds, just the slow grind of Ryan’s hips against his before the other man is slowly pulling out of him to start thrusting shallowly into him and that warm pleasure is still humming through him from his orgasm. It makes the whole thing feel like it’s moving through a hazy fog that he wishes that he could just live his life in (well, maybe not games, but outside of that.).

By the time that Ryan’s hips are moving with more purpose, Alex’s legs are spread wide open on either side of him and he’s pressing up into the movement of it, groaning a little and thoroughly enjoying the vulgarity of the noises their bodies are making as they move together.

“I’m not going to last much longer, Alex.”

There’s about a half second where Alex wonders about teasing him about that, but it’s lost in the fact that he’s still a little strung out from his own orgasm.

He just lifts one hand from where he’s been clutching at Ryan’s back to thread it through the other man’s hair, and clenches around him a little.

“I want to feel it,” he murmurs honestly.

Ryan groans at that, and he’s pushing in one more time, holding Alex’s hips still as he does and coming hard, spilling hot inside of him. 

Alex can feel it, and it feels—well, it feels messy. But like the best kind of mess. It’s hot and wet and perfect.

Resting lightly on top of Alex, Ryan is breathing just as heavily as Alex is as they both try to compose themselves after that. 

“Wow.” Is what Ryan finally manages to say against the curve of Alex’s neck.

Alex grins a little at the ceiling, feeling incredibly pleased with himself. Wow was a great response. That was pretty much his response, too. 

“Yeah,” he replies.

Eventually, though, they have to move a little, and he makes a bit of a face when Ryan reaches between them to hold himself carefully and pull out. That makes the whole coming inside of him a little bit less perfect, because he feels the need to squeeze his legs together awkwardly, a whole different kind of flush colouring his cheeks.

“Oh shit, hang on.”

And Ryan rushes to the washroom, coming back with a wash cloth and carefully spreading Alex’s legs to wipe him down carefully. 

“I didn’t think about that. You don’t have to feel embarrassed. It’s still pretty damn hot to me.”

Alex swallows hard. “It felt pretty hot to me.”

Ryan grins that same grin up at him, and tosses the cloth over towards the far corner.

“Mind if I bunk here with you tonight? Nobody has to know.”

He rolls his eyes at him. “I think it would be worse if you, uh, left right after, you know.”

Ryan nods, reaching down to pull his boxers back on, offering Alex his.

“Well, I’m not going to. Here you should put these back on just in case anyone gets the bright idea to come in and try anything. Who knows if they might come to check on you or something.”

Alex takes them and reluctantly puts them back on, feeling a little bit embarrassed when he realizes that they’re still a little damp in the crotch. But Ryan doesn’t have to know that.

“Hopefully I’ll be myself by tomorrow. I’m sure that was my biggest secret.”

Nodding, Ryan tugged Alex over and out of the wet spot and into a more comfortable part of the king sized bed. “I’m glad you told me. I was starting to think that I was going to be left pining after you for the rest of my career.”

Alex lets out of a breath and shakes his head. “I can’t believe I wasted so much time.”

Ryan shakes his head and brushed a little of Alex’s hair behind his ear. “Well, we don’t have to waste anymore. Now try to get some sleep, I’m exhausted and I want to try to get in some morning sex if we can before practice tomorrow.”

Alex grins and reaches over for the remote to turn off the television. That sounds pretty good to him.

Waking up in the morning is a little disorienting. Partly because at some point in the night, Alex has managed to roll back into the wet spot and that’s a little unpleasant, but also because as he’s waking up, he realizes that at some point during the night he’s changed back to normal.

He reaches over and shakes Ryan lightly, grinning widely.

“Kes, Kes wake up! I’m back to normal.”

Ryan peeks open one eye, yawning widely as he reaches out to wrap an arm loosely around Alex’s waist, pulling him tightly against his body. He grins a little when he realizes that he can feel Ryan’s morning wood against his thigh. Definitely back to normal.

“Yes, I can see you’re back to normal. Looking good, Burr. But do you really have to try to wake the whole hotel up at… what time is it?”

Alex shrugs a little, licking his lips. “I don’t know. I, uh, I just woke up and realized. I guess this means I can play.”

Ryan nods, leaning in to kiss him softly on the mouth, and his morning breath is a little distracting, but it’s Ryan and it’s their first morning together so Alex can live with it.

“Yes, yes, you can play. All our hopes are saved. Now can we sleep a little more so that I can be awake enough to remember it when you blow me before practice?”

Grinning, Alex presses his lips a little shyly against the other man’s, pleased when he feels the pressure returned, and leans against him. 

“Yeah, okay. I guess we can sleep a little longer if you’re going to be so lazy about it.”

Ryan nods a little, seemingly pleased about that. “Good. I need my beauty sleep, you know. Being this good looking takes a lot of work.”

Alex just snorts at him, but doesn’t argue as he leans back down against the pillows and closes his eyes. This really is this beginning of something, and he thinks it’s the beginning of something really great. He can wait a couple more hours to really get started. He’s waited this long already.

Maybe Kessel really is a genius after all. Maybe he’ll send him a gift or something as a thank you, see how much he likes that.


End file.
